Had woman sit in my chair a while back. I got stuck with her because her regular designer wasn't there. Again. She was angry. Don't blame her. Her regular designer has been doing hair for about 5 minutes. Anyway, normally, when I visit for the first time with a new client the conversation starts out something like this;

Me - Hello. Nice to meet you, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. So, you want a cut and color today, is that correct?
Client - Yes.
Me - Great. Let's take a look at what you have already and then discuss what you want so we can decide how best to have you looking fabulous when you leave.
Client - Okey Dokey

Then, I ask a bajillion question and look at growth patterns, condition, density, color, skin tone, eye color, etc.

Next, I offer up suggestions.

Me - Well, here's what I'm seeing...What I think you would love...and how I'd like to do that...and it will take...yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.
Client - Sounds good. Work your magic. OR What I do like...what I don't like...etc.

We come to an agreement. Never, anywhere in that conversation will you hear me say, "Tell me exactly what you want and how to do it because if you don't I won't know what to do or where to start and you'll hate it when you leave". The reason is very simple. I have been doing what I do and teaching other people how to do what I do for 28 years. I have extensive amounts of high quality, national and international education. And, I'm very good at what I do. And while I am still learning, I don't know everything, but what I do know, I know very well.

Back to the client. She sits in my chair. I step around to face her so I can look at her while we discuss what we're going to do. Before I even begin the clarification of what she's actually there for, she says this:

"I like my hair like this. I want it cut 2 inches here on a ninety degree angle. I want it tapered here but not too short. I want it over my ears, tapered at the neck. I want the top blond but not yellow. Do not use bleach on my hair. If you think you can't color it without turning it yellow, I'll wait till #$@#^ is back. I want it texturized - pause - look at stylist to see if she's listening and knows what texturizing is - I want side swept bangs and I don't want to see one single gray hair. But don't do all over color. Just highlight. Just make sure you pick up all the grays. And, by the way, my hair is very coarse and if you cut it too short it will stick straight up and I won't pay you.

I am still standing in front of her, most likely with my dropped jaw telling her much more than my silence is, and she says, "Do you think you can handle that?"

My first response to her diatribe?  "Que?"

For just a moment she thought I didn't speak English. The look on her face was worth the price of admission. And because one inappropriate comment is against my principles, I responded with;

"I've been doing hair 28 years. I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

At some point during the conversation, I told her how much everything was going to cost.

Client -  "Oh, I only wanted to spend $50". (I had looked up her previous service with the other stylist and she paid more for just the color than that.)
Me - "Ok. Well, I'll be glad to discuss what we can do for $50 then."
Client - "But I want the whole thing".
Me - "I can't do all that you've asked for $50. What I CAN do is..."
Client - "Well, I need the whole thing done. But I won't pay that."
Me - "Well, I understand completely. Give me just a moment and I'll go see if there is someone else available to do your hair".
Client - "Why can't you do it?"
Me - "I cannot do 2 hours worth of work for $50".
Client - "You can't or you won't?"
Me - "Yes. That is correct. My prices are not negotiable. This is how long it will take, and this is how much it will cost."

She decided that she would pay my "outrageous prices", made a couple more equally condescending remarks about never liking her hair and how no one listens to her. I asked her to be quiet because when she talked she moved her head. I needed her to be still. She finally harumphed and shut up.

What I wanted to say was;

"I appreciate the fact that you may have, in the past, had to tell people how to do what they do. However, I am licensed, experienced and good at what I do. The only reason you are in my chair is because I had a last minute cancellation. The reason that is important to you is this. I don't take orders. You are welcome to tell me what you like and what you don't like. However, unless you are prepared to do this service yourself, you are not in charge here. I am the master of this particular universe. Feel free to tell me what issues you are having but you are not free to order me about, tell me what to do and how to do it, and you certainly are not free to threaten me. If you continue to be condescending and disrespectful, you can get your ass out of my chair and find someone else to be your bitch. The reason you 'never get a good haircut or color" is because you tell people what to do and how to do it rather than allowing them to do their job. And, by the way, if you don't sit still and quit moving your head, I'm going to charge you double."

When I finished, she actually liked her hair. Though it was painful for her, she thanked me and asked for my card. I thanked her, suggested that she enjoy the rest of her weekend and promptly went to the computer and added a note to her file. It read,

"Do not, ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, put this woman on my books again."

They haven't.